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2008년 10월 19일 일요일

I absolutely have NO idea what the f u c kk am I doing now. My whole life seems all effin-messed up.

I mean, just LOOK how pathetic I am right now. Actually, I met up with one of my friends just few days ago(and i'm not going to write about what we did), and during the halfway, she just asked me, "Tyron, are you like, in love with someone? And the person is not giving it back to you?"

I couldn't be able to give her an answer. I could think of nothing but kept myself quiet until she started giving me the sympathetic look. I really do wanted to answer her, but i don't know.. I just couldn't. Instead, I just started feeling some unknown sadness which I have never felt it before. Then I just had to admit the fact that I helplessly fell in love(like the first time ever in my f u c k ing entire life) AT THE FRIGGIN' PERFECT MOMENT when I know myself moving to London not more than two months after, which means i'll be saying 'bye bye' to that person in less than a two months, and I am not even sure whether that person is even interested in me or not. And I'm kind of guessing that this will never be able to work out which makes me feel even more shitty. Crap, I really have no idea if that person is like, even bother considering me as a 'friend', or a 'figure', or a 'thing', or even lesser.

These days I really feel like I am driving through the long and dark tunnel with only a minimum guidance provided by the dim lighting, and I am pretty much aware of the fact that I just entered the tunnel so I still have a long way to go. I really hope that at the end of this tunnel, I can just laugh it off all the feelings that I am having now, and able to say the phrase that Jaz told me I will definitely yell this out one day, "Oh my god. I just can't believe I had a feeling for this kind of person. I MUST BE KIDDING MYSELF! *slaps forehead*".

P.S: I know someone will say this when she reads today's post. "TYRON! YOU'RE NOW BEHAVING LIKE A HIGH SCHOOL GIRL WHO IS OVERLY-OBSESSED WITH ROMANCE NOVELS!!!!" But hey, sometimes I do enjoy reading all those crappy-and-yet-so-cheesy romance novels! XDD

Blogged @ 오전 1:48
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